Dragonboy Be Damaged
by Pirate Bob
Summary: Eustace Scrubb was once a dragon and 'e lived ta tell aboot it. But there were moments when he wasn't sure things'd e'er be the same again. Caspian lovers, beware! Arrrr...


_Arrr, me kiddies, I've got me 'arpoon fixed fast in the very belly o' the rights ta this yarn. Though, truth be told, I've gone and pirated e'erythin' else aboot it, names and such. This 'ere's a lil' somethin' fer Eustace Scrubb, fer I 'ave a mind 'e still has dragon dreams on accasion._

**Dragonboy Be Damaged**

Eustace the dragon flew slowly o'er the island looking fer knights ta tangle with. 'E 'appened ta spy a missile comin' directly t'wards 'im from the ground and managed ta angle off just in time ta avoid bein' plucked from the air.

"That was close," said the boy-become-dragon. 'E looked back down ta see from where the stone's trajectory 'ad originated. And there below was 'is old enemy Caspian, whirrlin' another stone from a deadly makeshift sling. The nervy little rascal was actually tryin' ta knock 'im outa the air.

"That nervy lil' rascal!" said Eustace, and he beat wings ta the side ta avoid the second rock. "I'll teach 'im not ta mess with a dragon, arrrr!" And with that, the giant flying lizard made some quick in-flight turns so that 'e was soon descending rapidly toward the boy on the cliff.

Caspian stopped looking fer a third stone ta equip 'is bean flip and turned tail to flee. But the beast was quickly upon 'im. Eustace buzzed o'er 'is 'ead, belching out a stream of fire that singed a hole in 'is royal runnin' britches.

"Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" screamed the boy, fer at that moment 'e'd also a let a fart o' gas pass his cheeks, and the result was nothin' if not blisterin'.

Eustace looked back down as 'e turned in midflight again. Caspian had done the stop-drop-and roll maneuvre and was now up and runnin' again fer 'is dear little life. The sight was nearly enough amusin' ta bring the entire chase to a halt simply because o' the comical view, but alas! Eustace's new dragon 'eart was an evil one and would not allow the matter drop just yet. Those humans down there needed ta learn a little reverence fer their scaly betters. He angled back toward the running 'alf-naked little streaker.

"Where ya goin', brownie?" hissed Eustace, this time buzzin' by the prince's ear and causin' the boy ta scramble fer a hidin' place. The lad took a tumble and skinned 'is knee on a boulder. Eustace flared a stream o' flames in an arc ta cut off most a the obvious escape routes. 'Is plan was ta force the prince ta run towards the dragon's lair where 'e could 'ave 'is way with 'im.

The dragon wheeled in the air again. 'E was getting' good at this flyin' stuff. It was a lot o' fun bein' a dragon after all. But where 'ad the little prince gone now?

Eustace flew in circles, confused. The lad was no where in sight. Aye, there was the boulder, the cliff, the arc o' fire. There was only one logical way ta go and that was back t'ward the forest where the prince would fall 'eadlong down inta the lair. But the boy was gone.

Bewildered, Eustace flittered this way and that and finally decided that Caspian must a sprinted down the hill and hid in the trees beyond 'im while 'e was still turning in flight. The dragon flapped its powerful wings to get to a proper height, and the let the warm updrafts from the cliff's edge carry 'im along the rim and toward the forest.

* * *

Behind 'im, on the cliff, a little hand reached o'er and grabbed 'old o' a weed. Soon it was joined by the other hand, this one still 'oldin' the leather sling. The boy Caspian pulled 'imself back to solid ground from where 'e'd hidden 'imself. Quick thinkin' 'ad saved the day fer the lad, as 'e could tell the dragon 'ad been settin' some sorta a trap fer 'im.

Now Caspian got up quickly, and watchin' the form o' the dragon in the distance getting' smaller, 'e quickly began limpin' out and around the still burnin' arc of blazin' grass. If 'e could just get ta the top o' the 'ill 'e knew 'e'd be safe, fer 'e could then call fer help to 'is men. And they had a cannon. But at the moment, 'e was still in grave danger. That dragon could look back and notice 'im afore 'e got there.

Well, easy does it, Lad, but quickly, thought the boy to 'imself. 'E made the journey as quickly as 'is bum knee would allow and, Aslan be praised, the top o' the 'ill was soon 'is. Ahh, king o' the mountain again, ha ha. He nearly tumbled down it fer joy, but managed ta stay upright long enough fer one more gander back at the dragon. The flyin' imbecile still 'ad not altered course.

"Well, so I've got a good opinion aboot where its lair is, though, don't I?" said the boy. And 'e 'obbled down the 'ill to meet 'is friends. There'd be a feast tanight, and tamorrow they'd out ta kill themselves a dragon fer their stewpot.

Mmm, dragon. None o' them 'ad e'er tasted o' the delicacy, but folks back 'ome always said it was not a bit unlike _chicken_…


End file.
